Some of us have heard the saying, “we don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are” (anonymous). Unconsciously and by default, we generally see, perceive, and evaluate through the lens of our past experience. To the process of making sense of our life’s episodes we bring our history, preconceptions, assumptions, suspicions, biases, and so forth. One of the many benefits of dreamwork is that we get to practice self-awareness and self-responsibility when it comes to our projections.
In the most technical sense, projection is our tendency to attribute to others the aspects of ourselves we cannot see, accept, or tolerate–that in ourselves by which we feel threatened somehow, that which we unconsciously believe makes us unlovable. Projection is a coping mechanism, a way we adapt to or manage inner incoherence that causes discomfort, conflict, insecurity, or stress. Projection is also defensive, keeping us from owning and resolving that in ourselves which causes us distress. We recognize these traits, aspects, attitudes in another–externalizing them–and assume they belong only to the other, relieving us of having to recognize and admit to them in ourselves. In this way, we defend against the troublesome self-aspects while defending for something that protects us from, and ironically keeps us in, our pain.
Our reactions to our externalized projections point to all that is unfinished, unintegrated, and unhealed in ourselves. Innocent others often hold our projections and even assume them, taking the blame for causing our pain. This further facilitates a dynamic that keeps us in denial of those things we reject so vehemently and of the ways we are actively perpetuating our pain. The dynamic of our projections leaves us in one of two positions: (a) the self-righteous superior, or (b) the martyrized sufferer. Not only are we not dealing with difficult or exalted emotions, or dark or bright aspects of ourselves in need of integration, but we are keeping ourselves stuck and isolated.
We don’t have to feel bad about this tendency to project–we have all for the most part been conditioned to operate in this way. Upon first inspection, projection makes it easier to live with ourselves, as all of the discomfort of being human is unknowingly carried for us by the different people we encounter and engage with everyday. One reason we want to become more aware and responsible of our projecting is that if it goes unchecked, we become surrounded by all of the aspects mirrored by others that we cannot stand about ourselves, and thus we are more likely to become judgmental, irritable, intolerant, and resentful. Projection unchecked leaves little room for self-love and gravely interferes with healthy, open, genuine love exchanges.
In dreamwork, we consciously and intentionally practice observing and learning from our projections. We imagine the dream experience and observe what sensations, feelings, associations, discomforts, judgments, stories and dramas come up. Most of what comes up in response to a dream is a revelatory projection with delimiting information from our past or past-influenced present experience. Awakening to this offers us the very rich opportunity to explore our unconscious assumptions, attitudes, and beliefs. As we pay close attention to what arises, we may also uncover unhealed wounds, unfulfilled wishes, and unresolved issues.
When we work our dreams together, we benefit from our projections multifold. With as many as are working dreams together, we not only access all the many more layers of possible meaning in a dream, but we also can work on and heal whatever internal material comes up in response to each projection.
Everything that we deem bad in waking life is really good when it comes up in dreams or in dreamwork. Unwanted feelings and discomforts, inappropriate or unacceptable thoughts and behaviors, and the impulse to want to reject our own or someone else’s dream or projection are the most favorable circumstances, shedding light upon that which is ready to come to the surface for integration.
So the next time we feel irked by something in our own imagined version of what is arising, through ours or someone else’s sleep or waking dream, let us recognize it as an invitation to become aware of what is hidden from us that wants to emerge. Let us ask ourselves exactly what it is that repels or irritates us and what in us it is pointing to. Let us listen to the stories we are creating around what is coming up, and admit the fears and limiting beliefs that are ready to be released. Let us allow and engage this process so our intentions with dreamwork may be fulfilled and we may become more healthy and whole, so we may bring this self-awareness, self-responsibility, and ensuing self-love more actively into the world.